Yes daddy!? When did fatherhood and husbandhood become interconnected with sex? Associating one’s spouse as a parental figure has become a sexual phenomenon. What are the ramifications of this behavior and how do we change?
Today, many women refer to their male spouses as “Daddy or Papi”. Generally, the social order of relationships place men in the role of the financial provider. Women who refer to their man as daddy or Papi, usually do so because they feel that he takes care of them financially. While this structure can be a good thing and help men feel valued and powerful, it is important to differentiate the relationship one has with their father and the one they have with their spouse.
Question: What is the difference between the relationship you have with your father and the one you have with your man? Is it strictly sexual or is there more?
Answer: A romantic relationship is supposed to be give-and-take. It is conditional. A person will take care of you, as long as you take care of them. Your relationship with your father is different. Your father is obligated to care for you without expecting you to do anything for him. In addition, children are subservient to their parents and must follow orders because they’re not yet capable of making rational and informed decisions, in many cases. As a woman, you are capable!
Some men refer to their wives or spouses as "Mami". This is because the social relationship role of a woman is to care for her husband and her family. She is expected to cook and prepare meals for everyone. In many cases, she is expected to do the majority of the household cleaning and work. Usually she is the main one to help children with their homework and she is responsible for organizing the family schedule.
Question: What is the difference between a mother and a wife? More importantly, what is the difference between how a man views his wife, his mother and his daughter?
(please answer this question on social media using hashtags #sexualprograming + #QweenMagazine )
If wives identify with the child role and imitate child-like behavior, does it mean that their husbands are attracted to children? Not exactly but there is a possibility that it can affect the psyche. A wife is almost like a mother and a daughter, she should be cared for by husband and care for her husband simultaneously . Distinctively, a wife shares a certain level of intimacy with a man that his mother and daughter never will. In contradiction to this ideal, some relationships have a different balance. Some women play the mother role and some play the child role.
The Facts
Women’s youth have been the lust of men for a very long time. Traditionally, poor families have married their young daughters off to older men in exchange for wealth. In western nations, child marriage has been outlawed. However, people steal children and sell them, to mainly men, for sexual pleasure. According to the Child Liberation Foundation’s Child Trafficking Statistics, “Children Are Trafficked For Sex 4 Times More Than Adults’’. In addition, “98% Of Sex Trafficking are Women & Girls”. In many places around the world, children are still legally allowed to marry adult men. Why are men so obsessed with youth? Are men naturally perverts or is there something more sinister at work here?
Society encourages child molestation and forces it down men’s throats. Not only is it fashionable for adult women to dress like children but it is reinforced by the porn industry, and through the manner in which we dress children today. People are confused about their feelings and can easily develop attraction to stimuli associated with sexuality.
As a psychology cognoscente, I find the areas of learning and memory to be the most intriguing. Partly because I feel the information could be used to help raise children. How do humans learn? I am not the first person to ask this question nor am I the first person to develop an answer. Learning is the process in which information and behavior is acquired. “We learn to repeat acts that bring reward”. (Meyers 278). We learn by associations too. For example, you smell freshly baked cookies, you eat a cookie and it brings you pleasure, you will associate the smell of cookies with the taste and feeling. Have you ever eaten a delicious meal that had a bad smell? Where you eager to try the food the first time? Associative learning is when one acquires knowledge by linking events or stimuli that occur close in proximity. “Animals also learn by association”. (Meyers 276)
Ivan Pavlov, a Russian physiologist and Nobel Peace Prize winner, was running a digestive experiment on dogs when he noticed something rather peculiar. The dogs would drool whenever they saw food. This is a normal response (unconditioned response) but they also began to drool at the sounds associated with the eating process, such as the sound of the food cart coming to bring their food. In order to understand this phenomena, Pavlov began ringing a bell at meal time. At first, the dogs didn’t salivate, or drool, at the sound of the bell. However, after conditioning, the dogs would salivate whenever they heard the bell. He would ring the bell right before it was time to eat. After prolonged exposure to the bell in association with food, the dogs would still salivate at the sound of the bell, even when the food was no longer present. This is a conditioned response.
Some of the latest fashion trends include women wearing two pigtails, dressing up and sexy onesies, and rocking mini schoolgirl skirts. Women, more commonly, refer to their partner as daddy and even imitate the body language of little girls when participating in sexual activity. Phrases such as “Yes Daddy’ or “Bad Girl” are thrown around with the intent of associating sexuality with childhood. In addition, men are beginning to dress like children and wear hairstyles that were traditionally made for little girls, such as pig tails with barrettes. How would you feel about your man dressing up like a baby or using baby talk during the sexual interactions you have with him?
Furthermore, the porn industry encourages this behavior even more. There are categories in porn such as Teen, Barely Legal, Babysitter, Teacher/Student and more, all associated with child molestation. Why is there a category for teen porn? If child pornography is illegal, imitating it should be too! I was conducting some research for this article when I came across a popular porn site. I noticed that the site kept advertising “Jerk off with teens”. I decided to write to the porn company and received no response. I began searching through each category, learning about new things I’ve never heard of before. In addition, I paid close attention to the captions on each video and studied the women, men and environments. I noticed something even more disturbing. In many cases, the women either looked extremely young, almost like a child, or there was something childlike in the background such as the bedroom or bedding. On top of that, the women were imitating children’s behavior. I began to focus my searches on things that were the opposite of children. I would type in “big dick” or “married couples” and it made no difference. Most of the captions under each video related to old and young scenarios. One video ad that kept playing in the background was a voluptuous black woman and a skinny white boy. He looked no older than 12. So I began to look at the associated categories. Every category on this website is associated with Teen Porn. I began to search other sites and found the same behaviors. I found this extremely upsetting. Why is it so common for women to play the child role during sexual intercourse?
Human beings almost need to have sex. This is unconditioned. It is in our nature. Women are created with a tool that is used to please the male sex organ and vice versa. It is natural for men and women to feel sexual arousal for one another but we began to associate other things with sex, like the smell of the person who made love to us or the fabric on our skin when we felt sexual pleasure. If every time a person feels or sees sexual energy in association with children, they could begin to associate sex with children. Thus creating child-molesters. This is how many sexual fetishes are developed in human beings.
While it is ok to view your spouse as a provider and a protector, It is important to understand the difference between a parent, a spouse, and a child. It is imperative that one is aware of their behavior and any symbolism that could condition their spouse’s sexual arousal or their own. Most sex problems are psychological and can be developed through years of conditioning from our environments and the people closest to us. Let’s not associate children and sex!
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